Today’s Advice from Tiff:

Stay in your lane.

The only times someone else’s life choices should matter to you is when they personally involve you or someone is getting hurt (involuntarily) because of it. Period.

Does your neighbor being LGBT really have anything to do with you? Seriously? Has a single marriage in that community negatively affected you in any way that isn’t self-driven? Yeah, no. It hasn’t affected your insurance premiums or your income tax. It hasn’t changed your mortgage or mail delivery; does not cost you more at the grocery store or affect your daily life, EXCEPT when you start judging based on what you consider normal. They’re still people. They’re not only going through the same bill paying crap you are, but they have to deal with judgmental assholes who try to impose their belief system on them.

How does my salary (or lack thereof) affect you? The only other person who has anything to say about it is my husband who has to pick up the slack when my check can’t cover bills. For that matter, his salary doesn’t have anything to do with you, either. It affects me and the kids (and the bill collectors), but that’s it!

What does a brand of jeans on an 11 year old’s backside have to do with you? Or her shoes? Or the crazy stuff she likes all over the front of her shirt? They don’t. Worse, you don’t know what it took to get jeans to put ON her backside, so how on earth can you feel confident judging her or me based on a patch or tag?

We spend so much time worrying about what other people are doing so much, we’ve lost track of what we’re doing! Figure out what’s important and keep your nose on your side of the privacy fence!

What makes this worse is that the kids of the world are watching and learning it, too. They care more about what the kid next to them answered than their own answer. They use every opportunity they can find to judge and feel superior to the people around them. Why? Is being set apart really such a good thing?

Things I’m still learning… (part 3)

And now, on Day three… the hard part. You’ve collected people. You’ve put them in groups. Now, ACT on those groups.

 

For the coworker who is generally a negative person and should have minimal control over the way you do your job… STOP MAKING EXCUSES TO THEM about why you do or can’t do something.

 

For the boss who butts into your home life— STOP TELLING THEM ABOUT IT!

 

For the husband who has to put up with you in a bad mood when you get home- TELL HIM EVERYTHING! Or, at least, everything he’ll listen to.

 

 

Now, a few pieces of life advice:

1- Don’t raise your voice. I mean it. Stop yelling. People stop listening when you start yelling, so you’re not really doing anyone any good.

2- For everything negative thing in your day, find a positive one. Sometimes these are much smaller than the impression you get from the negative ones, but never write a negative without a positive next to it.

3- Don’t take things out on people who aren’t responsible for the problem. It’s not your husband’s fault your coworker picked a fight with you at work, so stop arguing with him about it. Tell him, sure. Vent if he’ll let you. Just keep in mind that he has no control over it, so the best thing he’s going to be able to do is listen and commiserate. Oh, and pour you a glass of wine and massage your feet. Let me know if that last part happens for you, because it really doesn’t for me. 😉

4- Let it go. That’s right. That accident that made you ten minutes late to work this morning? Let it go. It’s out of your control and there’s nothing you can do about it.  (we’ll work through this one next. I know it’s not easy.)

5- Start your day with the goal of being happy at the end of it. All day long, work towards that goal and stop letting people who shouldn’t control that have any effect on it. It’s one of those things that sounds so simple and you have to truly think about it every time you feel yourself getting angry, but I promise, once you get into this habit, it’ll be yours for life!

 

So, there you go! I hope this plan has helped you and I want to hear how you’re working through it! This is the plan I’m working on following this week, since Heaven knows I’m not all that great at it, yet. Feel free to share your progress! Sometimes writing about it helps! That’s just about the whole purpose of this blog, after all! 😉

Things I’ve Learned… part 2

Alright, so yesterday, we started gathering people we come into contact with. Today’s goal: begin organizing them into groups that make up the pieces of your life.

For example, my husband, children, and parents are in one group. My boss is in another group. My coworkers are in another group. Yes, I separated my boss from my coworkers, because I care a little more about what she thinks about my ability to do my job than my coworkers’ opinions about that. While I do want to make them feel I’m competent, at the end of the day, if the boss is happy, the rest doesn’t really matter. I keep the others happy simply because they might be the boss one day. So, their opinions go into different groups.  For example, if my skirt is too short and my coworker tells me so, I’ll file that away and think about it the next time I pull that skirt out of the closet to wear to work. If my boss says it’s too short, then it won’t come out of the closet to go to work again. See the difference?

 

So, today I want you to think about the level of importance YOU place on the people in your list and organize them based on what opinions of theirs actually SHOULD matter to you. Think about the pieces of your day and assign each group of people a little “input” into the areas you believe they should have input in.

Things I’ve learned…

I realized something this week that I thought was rather profound and yet, should’ve been common sense. It came in the form of stopping myself from doing something that my brain was screaming needed to be done. You see, I caught myself making excuses for something to someone I was only going to see once in my life. It hit me, then. They probably didn’t care about my excuses; didn’t need them and didn’t want them. A simple yes or no would’ve been just fine. They didn’t need the details.

This is the profound part that probably should’ve hit me a long time ago when I ran across a popular quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

 

I realized she was right. I also realized that there was more to it than that. You see, the only opinions we should be caring about are the ones that come from the People we care about. If you think about it, that’s a pretty small list for most of us. I read an article about how Fox News spent twenty minutes going on and on talking about Adele and Kelly Clarkson’s weight and I thought about how Adele said she really doesn’t care about anyone’s opinion of her weight. I applaud that! It hit me there a bit. She doesn’t care about anyone else’s opinion because, when it comes right down to it, their opinion about her weight really doesn’t matter. Their opinion about her ability to sing does. She’s manged to departmentalize the criticism and I am envious of that!

 

So, the theme of this week here in Motherhood2 land is figuring out whose opinions matter about what and thinning the list of drama-inducing situations WAY down.

 

Today’s goal: Finding out whose opinions matter to you.

-Create a list of people you come into contact with every day and organize them based on their relevance to your daily life and how you feel about those people. Close family (parents, spouses, siblings) might count rather high here, whereas coworkers may not.

-Keep a journal for a week about the people you come into contact with each day and what effect they have on your day. What kind of impression do they make on you? Ask yourself whether this person is someone whose opinion matters to you, or if you’re just being “polite” by giving them excuses. Clear them up in your head and decide how much influence you’d allow that person to have on your day.

 

For my journal this week, I’m going to use a star method, where 5 star people are the ones whose opinions about everything matter to me and zero stars are the ones that I couldn’t care less what they think of me (generally, that last list will be very small).

 

Tomorrow, we’re going to talk about departmentalizing these people into groups, so you can start letting their opinions matter about the right things, instead of everything!

Happy New Year!

If you’re like me, New Year means New Calendars to organize! So, I’m working on my House Binder tonight, collecting ideas and printables.

 

So, some ideas I found via Pinterest:

tickle yourself organized– This is a real neat idea to help organize those monthly collections of paper that seem to be my downfall. Check out her explanation of a tickle file (organized file system to help you with daily paper work!)

Rotating To Do List– Nothing to download here, so the irony is that creating the to do list is one of the things you put ON your to do list. However, that means it’s customizable to a crazy level. You use sticky notes (I LOVE STICKY NOTES!) to keep your to do list fluid!

Organization Binders by Simple Dimples- You can download all of her PDF’s for free here! Super Useful goodies in here!

 

This is only the beginning of my collection of new stuff this for this year’s binder! I will be sharing more as I find them! Happy Organizing!!!

 

Why I love Pinterest… volume 1

I admit it, I’m addicted to Pinterest.

(please note, NONE of these pics are mine, they all belong to the blog owners linked here. Stop by and check them out, as each one has fabulous ideas about making life a little easier for you!)

I have picked up cleaning tips:

http://pinterest.com/pin/235453886739949014/

I started doing this and will never stop! My tub shower are always spotless-so simple. Simple shower and tub cleaner: fill wand half and half. Wet surface and scrub. wow! leave in shower wash while you are already in there.

From speed-demon-1.blogspot.com

I have picked up new recipes:

http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2011/06/philly-cheesesteak-sloppy-joes.html

Seriously, Philly Cheese Steak Sloppy Joes!!! You gotta try these!!!

So, now I’m tackling this:

http://beingfrugalbychoice.blogspot.it/2012/03/homemade-vicks-vapor-shower-disks.html

Because I loved those disks and can’t find them anywhere, anymore. 😦

 

So, round 1 attempt: baking soda, water and Vick’s Vapo Rub (because I didn’t have the oils and I was doing it to help my husband who is dealing with a rotten cough).

Pros: could smell the Vick’s and it cleared MY sinuses up, didn’t fizz or burn the eyes the way the tablets did

Cons: dissolved too quickly, left the shower a bit waxy

So, I’m going to try to stop by a GNC tomorrow and see if I can get the oils, then try this again using her original recipe of leaving them out for 12-18 hours instead of baking them.

Wish me luck!

Cyber Monday is going to be INSANE at Swagbucks.com – they’re having a Swag Code Extravaganza all day long, which means that you can get 70 extra Swag Bucks if you snag all of the codes throughout the day! Be sure to get to Swagbucks.com bright and early so you don’t miss a second of the fun!

 

I dunno about you, but I could use another 70 Swagbucks!

 

Don’t know about Swagbucks? Stop by and check it out today! Tell ’em I sent you! 

Weekly Shout Out- Signupgenius.com

I actually posted this on my teaching blog last week, but I’ve played with it so much this past week that I thought I’d share it here, too!

I was passed this little gem today as the school I’m in is gearing up for parent conferences. It’s usually a hassle, some added clerical work organizing times and people, then putting the samples and information together to get the most out of the conference. Basically, you’re taking your 30 minute break and putting on your secretary hat. It’s either that or you’re there until 5 after school doing it.

This site is going to change that for those of you in schools where parents have smart phones and internet access at home. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce: SignUpGenius.com.

This little .com will let you set up a signup for anything, even organizing volunteers or pot luck suppers!! You plug in the times and dates, set up how many slots you want for each one, then send out the link! Parents pick the one that fits their schedule and sign up online! It’s like having your own secretary taking messages and setting up your schedule for you! If it brought me hot tea, it would be perfect!!

Or, in the case of needing supplies or food, you just plug in what you want people to bring and send out the link! Folks sign up for what they want to cook and BOOM! Pot luck dinner success!

AND IT’S FREE!!!

There are a million uses for this fabulous site! Sign up today and give it a try!

As a mother…

I have to say that I approach bullying from many different angles. As a teacher, it’s my job to help educate the kids in my class so that they understand how much their words hurt, how deep those scars can run. As a girl who was bullied for most of her life and still gets bullied by people who should be old enough to be beyond that, I know exactly how much it hurts. I know how hard you try to shake it off, blow it off and not let it get to you and how sometimes you just can’t let it go. As a mother, I watch my girls and pray they never know what that feels like. It’s inevitable and I know that. I want to protect them, but I can’t be there every minute.

I saw this on Facebook today and it was worth sharing. Not only with my other Facebook friends, but with everyone who reads this blog.

Let me say this, because it needs to be said.

Everyone is someone’s baby. Everyone is worth something to someone. Every life is worth protecting and every minute of that life should be spent being comfortable with yourself. If you’re not comfortable, do what you have to do to get comfortable. If you are comfortable in your own skin, then no one has the right to take that away from you.

The idiot who wrote the e-mail to this news anchor forgot one, very big, thing. It is the people who don’t fit the perfect little mold of society that makes this country the beautiful thing that it is. It’s the fat people and the skinny people. It’s the ugly people and the beautiful people. It’s the jocks and the marching band. It’s the tall kids and the short kids.  It’s the kids who are good at math and those that are good at art. It’s the drama queens and the ice princes. It’s the sun and the moon. To insult one is to insult them all. To consider someone somehow less than what you perceive they should be based on the life you believe to be perfect is to detract from the perfection you think you enjoy. It’s not our civic duty, those of us in the public spotlight… the news anchors, the teachers, the cops, the EMT, the nurses, the dentists, the doctors, the stewardesses, the store managers, the waitresses, the cashiers… it’s not our civic duty to represent what you believe a perfect life should be. It’s not our community responsibility to be skinny and beautiful.

It’s our community responsibility to be positive roll models. It’s our community responsibility to ensure that the next generation knows they’re worth every minute someone invests in them. And it’s our community responsibility to understand that every minute we spend with them is a minute we’re investing in the future of our world.

October is anti-bullying month. I challenge you, all of you, to hold your hand out to that kid who is getting picked on. I challenge you to show them they’re worth so much more than they can even imagine. Teach them it’s not ok. Teach them to stand up. Teach them to know they’re worth (and know that there is no number high enough to represent that worth to you). Teach them to love. Then hold on tight, because the light is going to shine and it’s going to blind you. That, my friends, is how you protect the future.

And it’ll be worth every second.

Stop the bullying before it starts.

Weekly Shout Out- One Year in the Life Art Journal

 

So, I’m sure you’ve noticed that I like collecting Art Journal ideas. I have a whole category dedicated to it over there *points to the right* and a whole board dedicated to it on Pinterest. I don’t get to actually do much with mine at home, but I’m working on it at school with my class.

I gather my ideas from a lot of different places, but this one is another of my favorites. There’s not a post for every day, but when there is a post, it’s totally worth the wait! Besides, it makes me feel like I can tackle it, too! 🙂

Now, for those of you reading this that don’t know me, let me first say that I draw stick people. I am NOT an artist. I usually pick colors I think will work and it turns out HORRIBLE when I’m finished with it. That goes for my clothes, too, while we’re on the subject. The difference is that I don’t let it stop me. I’ll pick up those crayons or markers again. If I really hated the pages I put in my journal, I try them again. I am addicted to doodle books because they help me focus on little things at a time. I’ve also come to have some fun with stick people. I showed my class my stick ninja the first week of school and I’m here to tell you he’s become the icon of our class. LOL

So, go pick up a pencil and a spiral notebook and doodle something. You just might surprise yourself and it’s amazing how good it is for your stress level, too! 🙂