Things I’ve learned…

I realized something this week that I thought was rather profound and yet, should’ve been common sense. It came in the form of stopping myself from doing something that my brain was screaming needed to be done. You see, I caught myself making excuses for something to someone I was only going to see once in my life. It hit me, then. They probably didn’t care about my excuses; didn’t need them and didn’t want them. A simple yes or no would’ve been just fine. They didn’t need the details.

This is the profound part that probably should’ve hit me a long time ago when I ran across a popular quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

 

I realized she was right. I also realized that there was more to it than that. You see, the only opinions we should be caring about are the ones that come from the People we care about. If you think about it, that’s a pretty small list for most of us. I read an article about how Fox News spent twenty minutes going on and on talking about Adele and Kelly Clarkson’s weight and I thought about how Adele said she really doesn’t care about anyone’s opinion of her weight. I applaud that! It hit me there a bit. She doesn’t care about anyone else’s opinion because, when it comes right down to it, their opinion about her weight really doesn’t matter. Their opinion about her ability to sing does. She’s manged to departmentalize the criticism and I am envious of that!

 

So, the theme of this week here in Motherhood2 land is figuring out whose opinions matter about what and thinning the list of drama-inducing situations WAY down.

 

Today’s goal: Finding out whose opinions matter to you.

-Create a list of people you come into contact with every day and organize them based on their relevance to your daily life and how you feel about those people. Close family (parents, spouses, siblings) might count rather high here, whereas coworkers may not.

-Keep a journal for a week about the people you come into contact with each day and what effect they have on your day. What kind of impression do they make on you? Ask yourself whether this person is someone whose opinion matters to you, or if you’re just being “polite” by giving them excuses. Clear them up in your head and decide how much influence you’d allow that person to have on your day.

 

For my journal this week, I’m going to use a star method, where 5 star people are the ones whose opinions about everything matter to me and zero stars are the ones that I couldn’t care less what they think of me (generally, that last list will be very small).

 

Tomorrow, we’re going to talk about departmentalizing these people into groups, so you can start letting their opinions matter about the right things, instead of everything!

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